06 March 2006

I fear nothing, I hope for nothing, I am free.
-Nikos Kazantzakis, poet and novelist (1883-1957)

What sort of freedom is this? I don't understand. How can you be free if you hope for nothing? It makes no sence, unless you think of freedom as a sort of nirvana or state of nothingness. Even fearing nothing does not seem to acuratly represent freedom, just express an aspect of it.

~ ~ ~

The sky is grey and clouded over today, but it fails to bring the pleasure that such a sight would ordinarily bring. Instead it seems lowering and forboding. The ache of beauty is still present (when is it ever not?), but it does not satisfy, does not fill. I have too many things on my mind, and not enough substance (or focus) in any of it to hold my attention. Thoughts of the near and far future keep distracting me form the present, and I keep returning time and again with a thump and bump of semi-painful awarenesss that I am neglecting life for chimeras and might-be-perhapses. And then I begin to wander off again telling myself that unless I work and plan for the future now, then I won't have much to work with when I get there and it begins all over again.
*sigh* balance will come, with practice and a few more bruises.
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2 comments:

Michael Blackrose said...

It is often the pose of those who consider themselves "educated" that without the base emotion of "lesser people" they gain true insight. It is an understandable conclusion, however wrong-headed. After all, fear and hope can blind a person, distract from important things, limit by opening or closing doors of their own making. Would not resisting falling prey to fear not be freedom? Would not being "insightful" enough to realize that clinging to hope can be useless, visionary enough to be proof against the "weakness" of a hope dashed, mean freedom?

Ah, but there is the great trap.

Hope is the thing that keeps the childlike spirit alive and striving. Hope is the remembered joy that keeps us seeking joy through our tears. Hope is the torturous brass ring just above our hands as we jump... and the knowledge of what happens when we actually reach it. And hope, ultimately, is the knowledge in every faith that there will come a piercing of this veil onto something greater. What would humankind be without that?

As to fear... A character named Wildside in a sci-fi novel best not mentioned did make an interesting point. He said, "Fear is the wise man's wake-up call. It let's you know when you are in over your head!" Droll, but bloody true -- without fear, humankind has no need to strive. Without fear, humankind has no need to be strong. Without fear, love among humans would be a pale and sorry thing. But the greatest trap: without fear, humankind cannot have a conscience, and thus cannot be decent... and thus cannot ever HOPE {ah, you see} to reach a heavenly reward, no matter what version of God it serves.

Without these things, we are indeed sorry, living by our numbers and thinking that we have surmounted those "infantile nursery tales"... but in truth we instead the drab people controlled by IT in Madeleine L'Engle A Wrinkle In Time. No hope, no fear, just pounding out the same monotonous rhythm in perfect, sickening harmony that cannot even be rid from them by vomiting because that too would show weakness. "Hello darkness my old friend..."

But lo! like Meg in Mrs. L'Engle's remarkable books, we must come to realize the only way to truly free these poor, sick people, be they high or low, is through our ability to love.

Aha! Love! THAT is the end result of all these "weaknesses!" It is born of fear -- fear of a mother for her children, fear of a father for his family, fear of a husband for his wife or a wife her husband, fear of children for their parents, of friends for friends... And through that instinctive bond born in the first clutching to warmth in the oh-so-cold darkness of new birth we learn it well! But it is also born of hope, o believing in a child's ability to flower and thrive, from believing so much in one's family that you go hungry to keep them fed, for believing so much in one's God that a life is laid down.

And that, in the end, is freedom.

And so I leave you with a Zen story, my friend, which should conclude this rant well.

"There was once a monk, who, like many monks in his time, decided to take an extended period to meditate. Thus, with permission duly gained, he stayed in a small hut built with his own hands, on the property of a landowner. The landowner, a hard-working widow and lover of life, gave the monk food and drink, and continued to do so as tradition demanded, while he meditated in that hut over the next year. At the end of that year, the monk stepped from the hut. Smiling, she asked the monk what he had learned. He said: 'Life is cold, empty, meaningless. There is no fire, there is nothingness.' The landowner did the only thing she could: she lit his hut on fire."

There now. That ought earn a reply, by heaven. :-)

2:28 AM
Χαας said...

In the rich tradition of 20th century Greek literature, Kazantzakis is not just one of the best. He is a figure of giagantic proportions, a man who few can actually claim to understand.

This phrase(in different words) is used in different parts of his work, and as far as i remember it is also written on his tombstone. But the most important example of what the writer implies, is not other than his monumental book "Kapetan Mixalis" (Freedom and Death).

The phrase it self is used as a paradox. The mastery of Kazantzakis and the appeal of his main charachter (Kapetan Mixalis) has elaborated this paradox into a moto that a lot young Greeks use this days. It is a catchy tune.
I used to be one of those. But if you read the book again and again... if you think about, it is quite clear that it doesn't make sense.

I mean you are right...
Fear nothing, hope nothing??
What is left? Nirvana or despair?
Some think the first, (Kazantzakis was known to have Budhism in high esteem)some believe the later.
I personaly am not an expert to Kazantakian philosophy.

I ll tell you what the favourite hero of my favourite book thinks.

Kapetan Mixalis during his suicidal solo final assault has in his mind...

i hope for nothing, i fear nothing, i am free... to die

I dont have any ties to this life and i am now free to sacrifice it.

1:38 PM

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